Monday, September 27, 2010

No space

This day marks four years and four months since our wedding. Hans said his vows to a very different person that day. I have a hard time recalling who I was, mainly because I cringe at the thought of her. Be assured that I am still that selfish little person, but she was a lot worse.

We had not lived in the same city before getting married. So, those first few months were very sweet. Every meal was a date, every dinner an event. The phone seemed especially repulsive. Its one worthy function was no more. I think I am just beginning to recover from my disgust towards that object.

I enjoyed exclaiming silly things like "No space!" Sometimes because his presence was too good to be true. Sometimes because I was feeling insecure. Either way, I wanted to be with him.

I liked clinging to him, I still do. I even made him miss Emeth's birth because I was clinging to his neck. But that's a different story.

In Hans' sermon this morning, this was his illustration for Matthew 11:28-30. It was no more than a few sentences at the end, but it made me cry, because I knew exactly what he meant.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,
for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Having a yoke that is easy and a burden that is light? How is this even possible? The utter abandonment of the world and all its pleasures? A sword between parents and children? When is following Christ "light and easy" like the fat-free butter in the refrigerated section at Target?

Yet, it is.
It is the easiest thing in all the world
when we desire nothing else
but to be married to him.
Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death...
(Song of Songs 8:6)


winifredlam said...

you are such a good writer my are so wise and I love you

Ruth Soong said...

for some reason I teared up too when I read what you wrote...especially when you said you cried over Jesus' promises that our yoke would be easy and our burden would be light. You know, from the outside you do seem to be a person who has light burdens....because of the strength gained in Christ. Thanks for pointing me to the cross through your words.