Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Because I have not died enough

Every now and then, usually around seasons of transitions and uncertainty, I get all worried about the future. In my head, I imagine myself standing before all these different paths, leaving me confused as to which of these paths to take. In my head, I imagine all these different options of where I would like to go, who I want to be.

I never seem to learn, because the truth is, there are only two paths.

The path wisdom
and the path of folly

The path of the righteous
and the path of the wicked.

Two.

And there are only two destinations.

Blessedness or Destruction.

Hans reminds me that God is always letting us know where he wants us to go, the question is whether I am listening.

Each day presents hundreds of little moments where I have to decide which path I want to be on.

Am I patient, or not?
Am I kind, or not?
Do I forgive, do I believe, do I love?

I would like to think that these hundreds of smaller moments are chiseling away at me, helping me to die little by little, in order that I may become that new creature who would know better the will of my Father.

I am grateful that I do not yet know what the Lord would have me do five/ten/fifteen years from now. Because the me of today would probably not like it, not understand it, rebel against it. Because I have not died enough. Because I have not lived enough.

So, until then, help me see the step immediately before me.
The night is dark, Lord, I need your light.

5 comments:

winifredlam said...

Thanks for this. I have been meditating on Col 3. about me having died and my life being hidden with Christ in God. and when Christ, who is my life appears, I will also sppear with Him in glory. Been thinking about what it means for me.

I love what you said,

I would like to think that these hundreds of smaller moments are CHISELING AWAY AT ME, helping me to die little by little, in order that I may become that new creature who would know better the will of my Father.

You are so wise

Seda said...

Wini,
Thanks for the reminder of Col 3. We are all fools learning to die. =)

E! said...

Blessed Irenie-

This night is a dark one. Feeling so many strange things: Mom has not come home. She dinnered with Mrs. Wei who expected her to be home six hours ago? PD has no accident reports, she's not at Edward... le sigh.

Need light.

Hans said...

Whenever my wife says something nice about me here (which is often) she kindly neglects to mention the reason that I've said something is generally because I'm the one who needs to learn that particular lesson ...

winifredlam said...

:) so sweet