Friday, August 9, 2013

My anti-honeymoon treatise

{For Cat and Gideon on the night before they leave for their honeymoon}

I recently re-read an email I wrote to Hans before our wedding -- my reflection on the concept of "honeymoon." I was hilarious, and not in a good way. I was opinionated and emotional (I still am). To this day, I wonder why he married me.
We should rid ourselves of this ridiculous concept of honeymoon all together!!!  It gives a false notion that the beginning of marriage is the best portion -- what an extremely perverted view of marriage!  The truth is, we, by grace, should strive to resemble Heaven more and more as we progress and grow in our love. Our affection should more and more reflect God's intertrinitarian love.
To call the first portion of marriage our "honeymoon" is unhealthy and misleading. Our true honeymoon, the sweetest days of our lives, should be the last few days of our earthly lives.  I shall look forward to them, and ask God that upon our death bed, we would be the versions of ourselves that most resemble our dear Savior. I hope that at the moment right before we die, our love for one another will most reflect Christ's love for us.
Apparently, I wanted our honeymoon to take place, not right after our wedding, but on our death bed. How morbid!

So, I insisted that we call the trip after our wedding "lobsterstars." Because we ate lobsters by the roadside. We ate with our fingers, with lemon and corn, and had them several nights in a row throughout the trip.

We made memories, our first memories together as husband and wife. We climbed a few hills, got lost in our canoe, caught in the rain, and fell into the lake. We had many serious conversations, a few disagreements, and laughed a lot.

I have no recollection of what we were trying to do.

We just got back from our big trip to Minnesota, celebrating Cat and Gideon's wedding. Traveling with three children, five years old and under, was no walk in the park. We made new memories, some I would rather forget. Sometimes, we were utterly exhausted. Even so, I can honestly say that I experienced more joy on this trip than I did during our honeymoon, or, whatever that was.

I have a few favorite moments from this trip. Among them is the seven-hour conversation we had in the car on our way home. I enjoy my husband, admire him, and appreciate him more now than ever before. Not because we are any less sinful, but I think that we have learned to be quicker in repenting and forgiving one another. We have learned to be a little better at listening and understanding each other, becoming less defensive and more trusting. And the Lord, in his mercy, gives us joy when we obey his commands.

I had very little idea about marriage and everything related to it when I wrote that anti-honeymoon treatise. I might have overstated a few things. But I am so glad I saved that email, if only for the pleasure of laughing at myself.

Time away from the normal grind of things are helpful for us to evaluate where we have been, where we are now, and where we are going. Stripped away from the busyness of life, we are better able to see, listen, and understand one another. These are perhaps the most precious aspects of our honey-lobster-moon-and-stars, every single one, until death do us part.


Jean Tsen said... nice that the long road trip made a 7-hour long conversation with Ge! I like car rides with Ge for the reason that most of my best conversations with him take place then. I hope that was one of those times 7! Yay siii! God is so kind give you this blessing in disguise.

estherliu said...

is honeylobster one of your names for hans

Irene Sun said...

Esther - hmmm... Not that I am aware of. O.o

Catherine said...

Hehe, thanks Jie for the reminders. I skimmed thru the post before the honeymoon (sowie!) and couldn't do too much online during our trip. However, I did read the part about how you love Hans so much more now than ever, and you are happier now than you were when you just got married even with all the craziness around. That is such an encouragement for Gideon and I to know that love will grow, and we will change :). Praise God!!

p/s: we did have a lovely honeymoon :). Just a few petty disagreement here and there. But it was all a very sweet memory.

Irene Sun said...

No worries! I didn't expect you to read this right before you left. This post was inspired by the email exchanges we had earlier that day. =)

So glad to hear that you enjoyed yourselves. Next stop: Chi-town.

Shin said...

Omnomnomnom... I'm licking my fingers enjoying this yummy post. Thank you Jieji! "Quicker in repenting and forgiving" as the key to your greater enjoyment and delight in each other. So nummy! *Slurp*