Monday, July 16, 2012

Things that will be funny, someday

But you don't see me laughing, yet.

1. I crave strawberries, with balsamic vinegar, salt, and sugar.

2. I would put chilli in the mix, but I don't want Hans to judge me. Not that he would.

3. And while I am eating, I daydream that I am really eating cringe-worthy, sour, crispy mangoes. *drool*

Tangent, when my mom was pregnant with me, she had my dad knock on their neighbor's door begging for young mangoes from the neighbor's tree. I blame my cravings on her.

4. It took me three months to write a 24-page paper for my class on the book of Job. Three months.

5. One morning, I woke up and found out it was my professor's birthday (thanks, Facebook!). I decided that this paper must be turned in (two-months overdue, at that point). My children celebrated his birthday by watching nine episodes of Baby Einstein, and they had bread and jam for dinner. Like I said, this will be funny someday, but not yet.

6. Confession, I have never purchased a single bag of chicken nuggets in my life, and I have never fed my children chicken nuggets. Until now. I purchased three bags of chicken nuggets at Target the other day. I justified my irrational behavior to Hans by claiming that it was on sale -- buy two get one free!

7. I happily ate them with my concoction of ketchup and chilli sauce (the Vietnamese brand with a rooster and green lid).

8. I had a great disdain for fried chicken. Those greasy things! Out of the blue, it was all I wanted for dinner. Hans graciously indulged me, and drove his embarrassed wife to Popeyes. I feel a little nauseous just thinking about them.

9. I don't like chicken anymore. And I can't stand pork either. I am not a rational being.

10. I heart cheetos.

11. For two out of three meals last Thursday, I had toasted bagels, polish sausages, and jalapenos. The meat made me a little sick, but at least it was really salty. For two out of three meals on another day, I had toasted bagel with mashed avocado and salt. I do not crave bagel, but I do crave crispy things.

Speaking of crispy things, please excuse me while I go grab some multigrain chips, to be eaten with lots of salsa, and jalapenos.

12. When we were at Portillo's, Chicago's famous hotdog joint, I had no shame asking for lemons. Five times. They really should have given me a plate full. (Emeth devoured them with me! I wasn't the only one eating them!) I heart lemon with salt.

Did you know that farmers put blocks of salt out for pregnant cows to lick? It has something to do with the drastic increase of their blood volume. Makes sense to me. I feel like a cow nowadays.

13. I am as clumsy as a duck (I just spilled salsa on my mom-in-law's carpet), and my memory is as bad as a squirrel's. And I am (even more) hopeless now when it comes to numbers.

14. If I had the option, I can eat porridge with century eggs for every meal. But I don't know how to get my porridge to be sticky and gooey the way they serve it in Chinese restaurants.

15. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I am pregnant.


Swansea said...

♥ to me this is already funny kekeke~ XD

Olivia said...

Oh, Irene! You're too cute and funny! sticky and gooey rice porridge - jasmine rice or medium grain rice (like sushi rice) slow cooked over dayssss.... :D

Teyen Chou said...

haha! this is too cute! congrats again though!! (: OH and I found out, I'll actually be back in December for a month so I probably can make it to GRACE!

Jerry said...

Congrats! I'm so excited for you and Hans!

Seda said...

Swansea -- Glad I can serve as your source of entertainment. :)

Olivia -- REALLY!??!! I must try that as soon as I have my kitchen back! CAN'T. WAIT.

Teyen -- So happy to hear that you are trying to make it to GRACE. I hope to see you there. ;)

Jerry -- Thanks, Jerry. I hope all is well with you in D.C.

cindy said...

I clicked on this yesterday when I was on an empty stomach, and realized it was about i closed it right away lest I be tempted. :) I am reading it now and so amused. I especially enjoyed that bit on the cow and salt blocks. haha! thanks for sharing, and making me laugh amid all this packing madness! oh btw, if there is an ALDI store near you, Stan and I found that their storebrand of cheetos (both regular and hot flavor) are just as good (and slightly less unhealthy not to mention more affordable) and the flaming hots are better than cheeetos' brand. :)

studiokoontz said...

Hi! Visiting from Gracelaced Monday! Congrats on your pregnancy...maybe the little life inside you will crave similar food? Take care of yourself. Happy thoughts!

Michelle @ The Willing Cook said...

Ah, congratulations! I think your list if funny and I'm sure you will some day too. Be well and take it easy!

N. said...

Congrats! But, I hate to say by the time I got to the chicken nuggets comment, I started to get suspicious. And I won't lie...I laughed all the way through this post. It was awesome!

Seda said...

Awww... you ladies sure know how to make this pregnant-barely-sane woman feel loved.

Cindy -- Thanks on the tips on cheetos. sounds like you are quite the expert. LOL

studiokoontz -- I really hope not! =( I hope I will not be seeing fried chicken and cheap chicken nuggets for more than six months from now! LOL

Swansea said...

re-reading this as i (obsessively) check whether or not you've written a new post yet (you haven't).

nevertheless, this still makes me laugh.


p.s. upon posting this comment i saw a rather irritating grammatical error. so, i edited and now repost. ^________^"

Seda said...

Swansea -- This is why we are friends. I would too. =) love you too.

Ruth@GraceLaced said...

I've had such a crazy (out of town) week, that I'm just now reading this, friend. I am smiling so hard my cheeks hurt. I want you to come visit me so I can make you yummy ridiculous goodness to eat...because I eat like this...and am not pregnant. :)

Catherine said...

:D <3 <3 <3

Seda said...


You are hilarious. I would LOOOVE to come and have you cook for me! =) I finally have my own kitchen again (HOOORAY!) and the refrigerator is coming today. I am so glad I don't have to scare my mother-in-law and other friends who have been kind enough to watch my (much restrained) eating habits.

If you eat like this normally, what in the world did you eat when you were PREGNANT?!