I became a Christian in my teens. The burning questions at the time always had to do with what my friends and I called BGR (boy-girl-relationship). If you want to get us excited about a speaker or a sermon at youth group, this is the go-to topic.
How do we know when we have found "the one"? Is there such a person as "the one"? In carpools and sleepovers, I am sure my girlfriends and I have exhausted these questions. I was always the romantic. I wanted to believe there is one person out there just for me. I still do. Thankfully, he is no longer "out there," he is in fact in the next room.
Between giggles, we were asking a profound theological question, namely: how do we know the will of God?
If I was given an answer during those years, I wasn't listening, because I don't remember receiving a satisfactory answer. Adults often referred to the "do not be unequally yoked passage." Marry a Christian, that was all we were told. The rest of the story was often filled with stuff from church-culture and pop-culture. Biblical principles were rarely mentioned.
As I am taking a class on Proverbs this semester, it struck me as incredibly odd why I hadn't realize its relevance for godly relationships?True, it addresses not only relationships with the opposite gender, but still, it has much counsel to give about how to find your marriage partner, and how you would know when you have found him or her.
As a motivation for you singles out there to run to your Bible and flip to Proverbs this instance, here is a paraphrase (with my own elaboration) of what my professor said today:
God does not want you to marry a Christian, he wants you to marry a wise person. A wise person, of course, presupposes that he or she is a Christian. However, a Christian may turn out to be a fool.
Knowing this brings freedom, because the decision on whom we should marry is not arbitrary or merely based on subjective experience. God has set a standard for Wisdom. He has revealed it to us, and we are commanded to seek it.
Thinking about this brings great joy and an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I had little knowledge of this when I said yes to Hans' proposal of marriage. Looking back, the Lord was so gracious to us (he still is). We dare not think we are wise, but at least we know we are fools. We are blessed to have a lifetime to be fools together, seeking Wisdom.
4 comments:
The Lord is gracious indeed. Looking back, I cannot begin to count the number of bizarre (and sometimes flippant) things I jumped into – but he remains faithful through it all. We sisters (and brothers) can all testify to surviving through the weird conclusions we came to in our many ponderings and musings together
Could you explain this paragraph further?
God does not want you to marry a Christian, he wants you to marry a wise person. A wise person, of course, presupposes that he or she is a Christian. However, a Christian may turn out to be a fool.
I understood the first sentence but after I read the second and third, I became confused.
Thank you.
Hi Aran, I suspect you are Sherry's friend? So good to "meet" you! =)
The book of Proverbs (especially chapters 1-9), as well as some of the Psalms, give us a picture of a person who is wise. So for example, a wise person is one who fears the Lord (1:7). Unlikely the fools, a wise person is willing to be corrected and appreciates discipline (1:20-33). They are content, and they trust in the Lord and not on their own understanding (3:5-6). etc. etc.
Now in order for these things to be possible, they must first be Christians, because non-believers cannot fear the Lord.
On the other hand, there are those in our churches who profess faith n Christ, BUT they refuse discipline, they do not appreciate being corrected, they do not fear the Lord in what they do and what they say, they take advantage of others (chap.2), they are proud (chap.3), they are lazy (chap.6), they are not honest (chap.6), etc. They may have obtained salvation by the grace of God, but he or she remains a fool.
So, when we are seeking our life-time partners, it is not enough that a person of the opposite gender "believes God" and goes to church, we must also learn to observe their life-style, whether they are walking in the way of wisdom or the way of foolishness.
Hi Seda,
haha, nice to "meet" you also!
Thanks for the reply - sorry for the late response, I just remembered to look back at my comment today.
I very much agree with your comment! I have had the same viewpoint.
I enjoy your posts, thanks again for the advice.
Aran
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